Laundry List of to do’s

Posted on May 11, 2011by snotarant

Okay here are just a few of  the things I will and won’t do today…

Work out – this will enter my mind at least 14.3 x’s today – But I am guessing after buying a white chocolate mocha (iced) this will not happen. I totally blame my child for this – he ASKED for a chocolate milk after preschool drop off…what was I to do?

Laundry – this will be something I do today/everyday – but today… probably won’t finish because, I will get side tracked with thinking about not doing exercise, and decide to pluck my eyebrows,  research others blogs, someone will cry, wash my bike (that I don’t own)… you know any excuse. PLUS last night, I pulled T’s soccer shorts from the dryer and they were damp (slightly more than damp). He went to soccer but before he left “BEST shorts Ever mom – in 80 degrees, they are damp and cool!” so – hence, why finish this load either? It is going to be 80 again. I figure that if my kids smell like mildew – well? They will just have to stick together since no one else will play with them.

Talk to the people I should and firm up dates – ie: dentist for my rotting teeth, summer plans etc…well this will not happen because a) it is nice out. And b) when I open my calendar on my computer – I will no doubt end up looking up things that matter like how to get firm without exercise, how to redecorate my house for 8 dollars…you know the important things at the moment.

Make a list for dinners this week – this won’t happen because well…just don’t feel like it…and if it does it will be a list of the healthiest food ever and of course I am  already drinking a mocha…so I have blown the healthy aspect today. I should just start again tomorrow.

SO…now that I have shared a small portion of my NOT do’s off my list…and proscranited by writing this blog…what I will do is tell you –

THAT my BIRTHDAY is in 76 days and I will be 40. (July 27th)

Why is this great? Well, let me tell you –  anyone that knew/knows me knows that my past was no indication of where I would be today. (Other then my great parents who did not sell me, but I am sure tried to). They also know that I think birthday are the BEES kNeEs. That I ALWAYS do a count down and I am behind this year.  That I thought 2010 would be the year of Jen – not so much. (but 2011 has promise.)  I think that 40 is going to be the new 20 for me. The confidence, the ME in ME, the fitness (heck Oprah did not start working out til ? 50, so she said or was it 40? – (and yes I know what she looks like today) but still give me a chance to start.

WhEw the way I see it – telling you my birthday was a HUGE check off the ol’ list today! Enjoy your day…and PLEASE tell me you’re doing something unhealthy too 

1st mothers day – motherless?

Posted on May 5, 2011by snotarant

So I sit this morning thinking…I thought…well. what does one do for Mother’s day?  I am a mother. but I can not celebrate me unless I reflect – on what kind of mother I had…

She (mom, nonny) was – always excited to be excited about looking forward to something…she was always excited to see what the future hold even if ill.


look- and you know she is saying at what???

She was – always willing to try new things. And she always had the best accessories…


about to go zip lining


accessories...not just jewels

she always taught me how to keep marching forward…and always brush your hair…


shaggy and I

she would always get to your level and play…

 making even a cut out look good


on the beach no doubt hearing good stories

she was always someone you wanted to sit next to. someone you wanted to share things with…someone that taught you what a true friend was.


just us

The type of Nonny that bought the BEST toys. The ones that you Had to HAVE…even if they scared the bejesus out of your siblings…


The type of mom that LOVED white pants (and those who know her or ever saw her – she had zillions of them). She loved the 4th of July. She was a terror with a roman candle but unlike the rest of us never got hurt.


Indian Lake

In the end…she was someone who meant the world to us. Someone that raised her to kids to adore her and each other. Someone that was always there. Someone that gave you love even if you were not looking.


showing love

Someone that loved her grandkids (and at times understood them better than their parents). Someone whose smile stuck with you – whose hug kept you warm – whose laughter made you laugh. Someone that when you felt like dancing and no one else would – she would. My reflections are all so positive. I have no complaints. I really think that any woman like her – the type that rolls with the punches, the one that can make you so mad you hang up only to have her call you back and say – whatever, I love you. The type that makes you warm to this moment thinking of her…is amazing. Mom – you are missed, always treasured…and a hard act to follow…

HAPPY MOTHER’S day…and thanks for listening to my rant.

Give me an hour…

Posted on April 28, 2011by snotarant


with kids/without kids? kids on their own? me with just adults…You guess what is what (or which is which)?

make it through 1 store.

make it through several stores and cause a whole different kind of “damage”.

Unroll a roll of toilet paper.

Break the dishwasher.

Fill up the sink and wash all things that are not waterproof.

Apply makeup.

Realize you need to apply makeup.

destroy the only  thing left in your house that is breakable.

Put a whole in the wall.

Play drums.

Download stuff.

Online shop. (This one is not what you think)

Cry and fight.

Do laundry and put it away.

Make a pile of laundry.



Miss someone.

Drink Coffee / Tea/ Milk.

Work out.

Come up with a reason not to work out.

Brush hair/cut nails.

Bathe/Shower/Clean bodies.

Realize I miss blogging.




Paint nails.

Clean out a closet.

read a book.

Play angry birds.

Play cars, dress up


I am going to be back…in an hour

My A.M so far…

Posted on April 11, 2011by snotarant

I woke up last night (This is a real rant post, be prepared)….

at 3:30 dreaming about my mom – it was not a good one…I COULD not go back to sleep…and never did.

Then got up….this morning soooo tired. I usually put the kids clothes out for the morning the night before. I did not. Nor did I do laundry over the weekend. I was thinking…nah, it is so nice out. We are having a great weekend…I can not do it for a weekend…well, it backfired. This morning I had to pick and pick to find clothes. Match socks (the sock pile in this house could be the worst enemy I have ever had) etc…do the dishwasher (load and unload), make lunches, get all dressed… pour cereal… I KNOW that these things are things we all do daily…but when tired this was a BURDEN this morning. THEN….

after all were dressed. We discover the fridge in the garage that hosted much of my groceries for dinners (meats etc) that I just bought was left open all night/ yesterday evening  from kids getting waters/juices…so EVERYTHING was HOT….not just warm. We already had cereal poured and had gone out there for milk….which as you can guess by now…Was not going to happen. Plan B for breakfast. SO, I proceeded to throw out everything in that fridge – including chicken, ground beef, milk, eggs (3 dozen!) and a zillion other things…so sad.

Come in….and my oldest can not find his shoes. Nor can we – ANYWHERE. Yes, it is gym day…Yes of course that would be the Tennis shoes we are looking for….so then the bus goes by….greeeat. As we are looking for the shoes we discover a POOP mess in our downstairs bathroom. Talk about a nice surprise. ewwww. we had a ton of kids over and who knows…who we kidding…I know it was one of my little humans. So gross. I sure did not know this part of the job when I signed up… I know I have to deal with this later. and will.

I get all into the car, have to take my oldest to school since he missed the bus…he is in shoes that are two small…but? Lecture the little people about when we ask you to pick stuff up and put it where it belongs, well we mean it.

Get him to school. Drop of the other kids, and they are now late. Realize they do not have full backpacks – pray for no potty accidents. You know it will only happen since I have no extra stuff with them today. This is where I  REALIZE I forgot their lunches….

Okay that is now taken care of (home and back).

go to switch my wash/ Clean up the bathroom…(have already been to the grocery store to replace things and get safe milk – after school lunch drop off)…come upstairs and my youngest has gone to the fridge…drank/dropped the whole bottle of French Vanilla creamer for my coffee(NEW BOTTLE, Opened 8.4 minutes ago and put back into the fridge…not a big deal other than it is on the COUCH!!!!!)

Anyone else having a great morning? PLEASE share good vibes with me….UGH!

Nature walk…maybe to much nature

Posted on April 8, 2011by snotarant

Okay. Last weekend my crew went for a walk. A nature walk.

Let me tell you about how we roll….


everyone needs a dad and a stick.

we find every puddle.

we find every stick.

we find cool pieces of ice.

we can fight even in nature.

did I mention we can find mud?

we might cry…and if we are lucky this is what we see (no photos – due to graphic)


Big chunk of Lake Ice

we were sooo lucky (EWWW) to see.


look we can be friends...for a minute

a dirty muskrat – not gross just dirty. A frog  (YEAH)  other than it had been run over by a bike that had all of its guts hanging out it’s mouth…and was “limping” to the other side of the path…my kids were convinced it just had worms in it’s mouth…grrrrrreat.

Then lucky us we saw a Bald Eagle. And up close. NEAT…until you watched it pulling and tugging it’s lunch apart. Yes, yes, nature but to little ones some what disturbing.  okay really disturbing.

We did see geese and ducks. And I am pretty sure it was a squirrel that had been ripped to shreds…all and all a SAweet walk.


sisters...always stuck like glue

Yep. That is how we roll…we just like to show the kids what the real horrors are in the world up front and early 


Big man H

Funny thing…

Posted on April 5, 2011by snotarant

I love to read. I read anything and all things.

I know that when someone hears that they will automatically say – is it books? Are the kind you HOLD & turn the pages? – well, for the record – some are and for the record – you hold an Ipad, and I think that I could get a blister from turning the pages of my books…Just saying.

Let me let you in on what I read…Sometimes, I read on an Ipad, sometimes a computer, sometimes – I read news (from various sources since all are biased in some way   ), I sometimes read on an Ipad – THEY are still real books. I read that. I promise. I read online stuff (computer too)…We know I am addicted to reading the News Feed from Facebook, I also have a healthy blog list to read each day and yes some of it is gossip – there are still captions – duh – I need to READ who is with who and what they were wearing , who wore it better, what it cost (look doing math too) not just look at the photos! I do read books – hard bound books…Oh and magazines…all sorts. good ones, gossip ones, cooking and decorating ones. I also read cookbooks – In fact some would say I read cookbooks as a man would read porn (well, maybe they do not do that now with the internet so I should say as they did playboy (esquire/maxium) magazines for the “good/great articles”. Right, I look at the photos first too…a man would be proud.

So as I mentioned I love to read. Now, I read pretty fast…and this is where it becomes a funny thing – Being read to – IS a whole different story. I kind of – well…it gets to me, to say it nicely. I love the fact that my child is reading. I love that he is reading really well. I love that he loves to read…I do get a little bummed when he only brings home science (okay for the record SECRETLY bummed, I would never tell him) type books about WEIRD animals and their extremely gross behaviors and listening to stumble through words that about choked up foods…reminds me just how far I am from gossip magazines or books like Water for Elephants.

So, does this make me mean? I think not. I think it just means I LIKE/LOVE to READ. MYSELF. It is the one thing that is mine.

sincerely Jen READ

p.s. – I will continue to listen to all that nature has to offer or even freaks of nature both in nature, and beast…I will continue to smile (and will still secretly wonder why/why? he picks these books and me each night to READ too)

Small ponders…

Posted on April 1, 2011by snotarant

I love…

When a celebrity says they have had no plastic surgery – don’t believe in it – & only eat raw foods…yet, they have bigger and “happier” boobs then 20 years ago.

When a celebrity tells you how they sit around making their own food masks for their face…right…

When a person in a store asks you what you charge for daycare – meaning the one you seem to be running – only to cringe and gasp out loud when you tell her that they are all just your kids…

When you finally get to go out and some random weirdo tells you that you are A.O.K and he’d like to throw you in the back of his truck…EyeaH? I am so in.

When you find the perfect spot and comfort on the couch only to have the dog lay beneath you and pass gas.

When someone you know eats terrible yet tells you how great they eat and when you go out for drinks they order a diet soda to go with their alcohol.

When someone tells you they NEVER watch TV. But, During the course of the night they proceed to tell you about stuff or correct you on things that are only on TV.

When someone acts completely shocked YOU? you cook? but has just eaten your whole meal without gagging I might add.


Keep your hands to yourself/stop touching stuff…

Posted on March 30, 2011by snotarant

In my house the two phrases KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF & STOP TOUCHING “STUFF” are said more than one time a day okay more like a zillion times a day. AND for more than one reason:

Kids fighting.

Keeping dad in check 

Kids pestering the dog.

Kids touching decorations.

Kids in the fridge.

Kids in the pantry.

Kids back in the fridge.

Keeping Dad in check  (he has a long reach  )

Kids taking toys from one another. (out of one another’s mouth as well)

Kids and toilet paper. (toilet, toilet brush, tank…)

If you ever want to feel more like a Mina Bird – have a few little humans and a husband around…I feel like I repeat, repeat, and repeat….

I also find these things to be more true on days you are feeling like sitting on the couch, or are just not on top of your game. They tend to go for the goal of irritating you more on those days. Yes, they are there each day otherwise….

If your ever bored and feel like you need a good reminding of things to touch and not touch – feel free to stop by, or give me a call, an email…I aim to help. I am thinking of making a long list and painting one whole wall in my house with it. Then again – some of my kids can’t read and the jury is out on my old man following directions (well, not to mention some of his non touch items on  the list might not be PG).


Posted on March 28, 2011by snotarant

Does it seem when you spend a week or weekend with the whole family the time passes fast? or is it slow? As I have observed both in the last week/weekend.

Yet, I have to quickly add in that Monday mornings – NO matter what or how many people you have been with – will always be LOUDER in the a.m. than any of the previous days…(especially after a vacation or break)

This last week was spring break in our house. And we had the sickies, the pouts, the unhappies, the louds, the snuggles, the fighters, the time-outs, the hoarders, the picker-uppers, the playing nice, the pillaging, the smirkers and after all that – it all ended with a train being set up in the foyer that was as loud as having a real train come through the house…

Needless to say that with this amount of kids, of this age group – 50% of any given minute someone fits the profiles above. NO I am not going to lie and say my kids are perfect, get along and sing while holding hands. THEY surely do not. I am pretty sure that their idea of holding hands means breaking the other person down by grip and pinching. I also refuse to tell you it is all easy, and that every moment is savored as a mommy…I don’t. I am hoping I am not alone. Don’t get me wrong I love my little humans – and do have a Mama Lion in me but, geez…somedays??????

Because of the group. At any point during a MINUTE we can have time go fast or completely stop. What do I mean? Well, if they are fighting time is creeping by. You are struggling for distractions, conflict resolution, and the screaming seems to be going on for an eternity…but when one small person asks you to snuggle…you try and get the time to stop – which in turn makes it go faster because someone else will disrupt that precious time…which is so far and few between.

I just have to keep reminding myself to stop and make the time I do have- 3.5 nano seconds – count. And let me tell you – as  you sit there “snuggling” full of sweat because you almost ate one of your other children due to their “hand” holding a sibling…it is sooo hard. So, I advise all mothers to eat a good breakfast…that way you are always to full to eat your young.

Spring Break…and it is only Wednesday

Posted on March 23, 2011by snotarant

This week is spring break. So far – 5 icky feeling kids. Snow. Ice. Broken Toliet. Broken Dishwasher. Can’t get into my blog. The Dog ran away (can you  blame her) and well now I have a rash on my side. Okay more like a bunch of bumps. Itchy, burning bumps. More itch and less burn but – bumps.  And more like on my two sides (rib cage) so I make an appointent yesterday to have it looked at.

First, I took the kiddos to see Rango…UM? If you have small kids…do not go, it is boring to them, swears, lots of Adult talk, etc…the older generation will get so much more from it – and by older I mean the 30+ crowd 

So…back to my Doctor Rant. I go in. The doctor is like ? 10 maybe 12 years old? This I understand makes me sound like a super old person…but it is truthful. Or my truth 

First question Dr. : HI. I am Doctor Blah, Blah… So, you have a rash that itches? Is this rash bothering you?
Me: um…yes that is why I am here. It is itchy, and hurts. (As I have already explained to the nurse, and he has just repeated back to me like a Bird)
Dr: well, huh, not sure what it is.
Me: Could it be shingles? Could it be a rash from strep?
Dr: Have you been around sick people?
Me: yes, I have five kids that are sick, & was around my nephews that were ill too…Not to mention it is spring break and I am so happy to have all 5 kids around me all the time (laugh) slightly stressful due to the super weather…(me babbling now out of nervousness)
Dr: mmm, could be because of that – or just a virus, I don’t think that it is shingles, if they were to occur on both sides of your body you would have a compromised immune system. (KEEPS LOOKING at my sides)
Me: well? how do we find that out?
Dr: Let’s wait it out. If it spreads or hurts, come back…here is some ointment. A steriod cream to stop the itch. Apply it at night.
Me: ? um, you want to look at my throat? anything.
Dr: (ignores me) and says yeah, we are going to try the cream and call back if anything is not changing. I think we will be fine. Oh, take a close look at this tube  I am giving you, it has a sharp thing in the cap to break the seal? Ever see this before?
Me: Ah, yes. (all the while thinking…We? WE? your not growing crap on your sides that itch, and thinking every super glue, craft glue comes this way pal)
Dr: Neat huh? You do not have to use a knife to open it. And please do not use the cream in your eyes and/or your private areas…(he used different graphic terms)
Me: Yes good to know. I often get stuff and stick it in my eyes and privates to test it out…(smirking)
Dr: BLANK STARE at me…okay well have a good day.

SERIOUSLY? so, i have since made a new appointment for my regular Doctor in a day to see what is up…but wow…that was the most useful appointment EVER!